Let’s look at fear from a different angle. If fear is what we don’t want, isn’t it also what we do want just stated from the opposite perspective?

Underneath every fear is desire or longing. Fear is just desire expressed in its negative form.

I am afraid of growing old. I want to be young.

I am afraid of my partner leaving me. I want my partner to stay.

I am afraid of being poor. I want to be wealthy.

It’s impossible to dissipate fear by focusing on it. You also can’t get rid of it by denying it is there. You have to go into the fear and see what the motivating desire is underneath. Then, we are able to take our foot off the brake and be aligned with what we want to create. We can now act and create movement towards manifesting our desire.

It’s not about denying the fear, but rather, it is the practice of using your fear to give you information about what you really do want. I’ve found it’s not enough to power through or try to change your thoughts. If you don’t understand what the true motivation is, you stay in an energy of crosscurrents. Our unconscious desires are as powerful (if not more powerful) as our conscious ones. 

As Yoda says, “Named must be your fear before banish it you can.”

Fear informs you of a current, motivating energy you can tap into and use consciously.

Once we know our longing or desire, we can create an intention or experiment. Fear points us to desire, which gives us a clearer picture of what we want and what is getting in the way of it.

Fear: I am afraid of growing old.

Surface Desire: I want to be young.

Why? I don’t want to die.

Deeper Desire: I want to live.

Experiment: How can I live more fully in this moment? In my life? (Growth)

Fear: I am afraid of my partner leaving me.

Why? I don’t want to be alone.

Deeper Desire: I want to feel connection. (Connection)

Experiment: How can I feel more connected in this moment? With my partner? In my life?

Fear: I am afraid of being poor.

Why? I don’t want to feel insignificant.

Deeper Desire: I want to contribute and feel part of something bigger. (Purpose)

Experiment: How can I choose in this moment to contribute? How can I contribute more in my life?

Fear Flipping Exercise

You can do this in the moment when you are feeling fear, or as an exercise to look at patterns and choices in your life.

Ask yourself:

1. What are you afraid of?
2. Why?
3. Flip it to a desire. What is a way of stating the fear in the positive, i.e. what you want rather than what you don’t want?
4. What is the “Why”, the deeper longing or desire behind what you want? 
5. Once you have the desire, is there a bigger intention? What experiment can take you closer to your desire?
6. What steps can you take to begin your experiment?